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[puppyface009]

The Wanderer

A Skyland fan fic.

Song lines: ….. You don't remember me but I remember you…-Evanescence, “Taking over me”

Obeying the crown was a sinister price
His soul was tortured by love and by pain
He surely would flee but the oath made him stay

Please forgive me for the sorrow, for leaving you in fear
For the dreams we had to silence, that´s all they´ll ever be
Still I´ll be the hand that serves you
Though you´ll not see that it is me

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?
"Hand of Sorrow" -Within Temptation

Year: 2281 (That should be 30 years after when the series takes place…)

The cold air of this winters eve reveals my breath, as I wander through the halls of this fallen ship. It is night right now, but my glowing hand illuminates a small portion of the hall, so I can see where I’m going. My black cloak drags slightly behind me, and the hood is down, making it easier for me to see around me. My face is wet from the tears that have fallen, from the memories of mine that this ship contains. My glory days when I was younger, in authority, respected, and sometimes, even, envied.

I am walking the halls that my lover once did. I still wish he was here with me, to tell me that things would be all right, that this was only a nightmare that I would soon awaken from. But he is not. He has been gone for nearly a decade, dead, along with most of my fellow guardians. I managed to survive the slaughter, but my along with the Sphere, my life was shattered.

I have wandered from block to block, trying to avoid the demons and enemies of my past, but they are relentless. The things I have done to survive are too horrible to even think about. The drugs, the alcohol, the men.

It’s more like a living death. But in reality, I might have had another choice. There was always the rebellion, or even neutral. Then again, I was well known across Skyland because of my high ranking, and I doubt that either would let me join. Now I envy those lower ranked guardians who survived, and managed to get away. From their past.

Now you may be wondering, how I can use my powers in the dead of night. I underwent the procedure, just like my lover, in the hopes of saving ourselves. It didn’t work out that way. Shortly after, my lover died, and although it was because of the procedure, I never tried to undo it. Not that I could.

I feel it everyday, as it slowly eats away at me from the inside, but for someone like me, this seems a fitting end.

Oh yes, I’m finally regretting some of my actions, an agony I thought I would never experience. It all seemed so right at the time, never a second thought. Or at least, not until the day the Sphere crumbled, along with the peace in Skyland.

That’s right. That damn pirate finally succeeded in what they thought was just, and you know what? I think it might have been. But whether it was or not, it was a little too much for them to handle.

They already had a great many blocks within their control, but when the Sphere crumbled the blocks still under our control went into chaos. Their excitement of our defeat brought disorder. Not all of the blocks wanted to fall under pirate control, some wanted to stay separate, manage their own block. This created disagreements, which led to useless fighting. Surprising, how our natural human nature, our self centeredness, can get in the way of order.

It was actually kind of funny in a way, to watch them flounder around, trying to bring order to the new blocks, while trying to keep order on others. Ha ha.

Wait a minute, what ever happened to the prophecy, and the lady of light? Hmm? Wasn’t she supposed to ‘reunite Skyland’? Surely she was needed then more then ever? Was it too much for even her? Maybe I misunderstood it. Maybe we all did. Maybe it wasn’t true; all the so-called evidence was just a bunch of coincidences. Hmm.

I lift my gloved hand, and trace it along the wall. Dust. This ship is covered with it, inside out. I feel tears swelling, along with anger. How dare them, I think, as a look at the mark the tips of my fingers made of the wall. The tears are falling down my cheeks now, making my face even stickier. I start walking again and I wonder.

How does one tell if one’s self is insane? Perhaps I am. I wouldn’t be surprised. With all that I have been through, it’s plausible that I have been driven insane. Hmm.

That’s a problem. So many “Hmms”, and not enough answers.

As I walk, I find the room that was once my sanctuary, when I was in the arms of my true love. As I walk in, memories flood my mind, like a relentless tide. I try to push them out, but as a walk further in, they get stronger. Eventually they stop, as my mind has run out of joyous memories.

It’s also covered in dust, and has been stripped down, robbed by thieves. The only things left are a queen sized bed with no covers and the bed side table, emptied, except for one thing. The picture of my lover and me, hugging, with the sun setting in the background. It surprises me that it’s still here. It’s almost as if they left it on purpose. They probably did, seeing as it had no real value to anyone but me.

All of this seems unfair, really. I mean, all of this because I pledged my life, and loyalty to the wrong side. I only had three choices. Sphere, neutral or rebel. One out of three, and that one was the wrong one.

I hear footsteps now, the demons of my past draw near. Literally and figuratively. They echo in my mind, a mixture of my own, my lover’s, and my victims. Running.

The footsteps slow, and eventually stop right behind me. You see, this ship is restricted, and I’m not supposed to be here, but I couldn’t stay away. I turn around, with a mixture of hope and worry in my heart. Hope, that it’s my lover. Worry, that it’s who I fear.

Most people would see an elderly man with a gun, past his time but still fighting, once a great leader. That’s not what I see.

I see an old warrior with hair that was once long, but has now been cut. His body has aged, but his spirit has not. Like a candle with a rebellious flame that refuses to go out, despite the forces and the elements surrounding it.

Now I wonder what he sees. An old woman who needs to be escorted back? A suspicious cloaked figure, with a glowing hand in the dead of night? Friend? Foe?

He raises his gun, with hesitation, as he assesses. I can almost see behind his old eyes, the thoughts that are going through his mind. For a moment, he lowers his gun.

I move my glowing hand upward, toward my face, to give a better view. A spark of familiarity flashes in his eyes and he raises his gun, ready to shoot. I wait patiently.

He lowers his gun again. Hesitation? Why? Does my face that has too many wrinkles, even for someone my age, give away my sorrow? Does he see that the ending of this confrontation would be my salvation? If it’s the last one, it appears that he is unwilling to give me my end. That would make sense, letting me continue my living death.

He raises it again, his finger preparing to press the trigger. I smile. He pulls, and I fall to the floor in great pain, blood mixing in the cracks in the steel. He stays, and we make eye contact, staring at each other for a good time. He breaks it and leaves. I smile again.

The land of blood loss is a very interesting place, if you’ve ever been here. You here the voices of those who think they cannot here you, and most of all, pain. Much pain.

You also have memories flash before your eyes, but always happens before death they say. I notice things in the memories, the ones of my lover and me, things that I did not see before. Were we really in love? Or was it Lust? Where else can you fall? Too late now.

I am Diwan, the fool, who played on the wrong side of the board of this game we all call life. And I walk.

The land that you walk is dark and deep, but you know that just beyond is paradise and you try to walk through. And you do.

[rtms]

Wow Diwan? That was great, very moving and angst. Poor Diwan could never get things right.